The truth about Greece

Dear Agapy,

My dear friend! My dearest non-American friend! I am so sorry, I offended you! I didn’t know you were from Greece! I never thought you were from Greece to be frank! I am really ashamed I said those mean things about your country.

Actually, I didn’t know what Greece was, till I Googled it 3 days ago. I always thought that Greece was a country somewhere in east Europe where cleaning ladies, workers and pole dancers came from. Thank God I read everything on Wikipedia and now I am well-informed about your whereabouts and your culture. I know that Greece is a country with great history. I saw movies like “Troy”, “Alexander”, “300” and “Clash of the Titans” and now I know that the ancient Greek men were hot and the women were whores. Now I know that, from ancient years, Greece was a country with great culture and power. I also read that you were slaves to the Turks for 400 years and you got your freedom back after a revolution. I didn’t read that part very well though, because it was kinda boring and the Greek rebels were old and ugly.

I read everything, and got to the present, where you are very poor and in a great need. I heard from my father that you have financial problems. It’s very sad. You know I discussed it with him, and he said he can donate food, clothes and hygiene products for you. He also said we will probably buy an island. Isn’t that great? You would come and visit during the summer. I am so excited. I asked him if he could buy that giant beige building on that high rock, which I saw on a cart-postal. He told me it was not for sale yet, because they are making some reconstructions.

Anyway, about the movie thing, I am not gonna do it after all. I think you’re right, something’s off here. I called the producers the other day to \get more information about the movie and they started asking if my breasts are fake and if I have a better front or a better back. Even though I don’t know why the asked that last one, I know for sure that something’s weird, and I’ve decided not to take part in this movie.

You were also right about Mr. Collins. I didn’t send him the photos he asked, because he asked the same thing from my other friends too. How dare he? I thought I was his favorite student. I’ll never visit him in prison and I will not take any more of his calls.

Anyway, I got tensed now. I have to go blow off some steam by yelling at my servants.

Love,

Olive